Mili Dueli 2019

Semi-finalist Rolanda Stefanova: I strongly believe that poets are the surgeons of the human soul! (Mili Dueli 2019)

In the next posts, we will meet you with our semi-finalists. We will show you their semi-final’s poem and interview about them and their impressions about Mili Dueli. Also, you will see what they answer on some interesting situations.

Note: Semi-final duels starts in September, 5. We have two semi-finals where we will show 25 authors in each one. So, this is TOP 50 poets in competition where have been presented 545 authors.

SECOND SEMI-FINAL

Mentor:Icons and illustration of flag of Bosnia and HerzegovinaNermin Delić

10. ROLANDA STEFANOVA A. MAKTUBA

Fotografija Роланда Стефанов.

SEMI-FINAL POEM:
SRCE TI HOĆE RAZGOVARATI – NE ĆUTI
/Bosnian translation/Ne razumijem ljude koji ćute,
kad zapravo žele vrištati;
kada žele upaliti svoj automobil
i otići nekome,
jer im nedostaje
jer su se tamo osjećali sretnim.

Ne razumijem kad ljudi ćute
a žele reći “žao mi je”!
Stvarno – ne razumijem tišinu ponosa:
bila sam dovoljno tiha i razumjela sam
da je to ekvivalent samoubistvu.

Mrziš li se toliko
da prolongiraš bol
koju moraš izvući iz sebe?
Zašto ćutiš – opet?

Hoćeš reći nekome da nisi upravu?
Divno!
Prošle su 3 godine i šta?
I bilo bi mudrije i zrelije od bilo koje rečenice
u Zen knjizi mudrosti:

Priznati da si griješio
čini te jačim od Boga.
Tad ti postaješ svoj Bog
jer ovo je ljubav
data sebi.

Brinuti o svom emotivnom svijetu.
Uzmeš telefon i nazoveš nekoga:
‘Izvini’
‘Volim te’
„Nedostaje mi tvoj glas“
ili ‘Hvala na dobrom provodu zajedno’.

Sramiš se?
To nije sramota već pobjeda ega.

Kada kažete ‘Da, pogriješio sam’
postaješ jači od morskog kamena.
Tada nećeš morati moliti se Bogu…
Postaćeš pravi Bog…
Napravljen od ljubavi.

YOUR HEART WANTS TO TALK, DON’T BE SILENT
/English translation/

I don’t understand the people who keep silent,
when they actually want to scream.
When they want to start their car
to go to someone
because they miss it
because they felt happy there.

I don’t understand people who keep silent
when they want to say “I’m sorry.”
I really don’t understand this silence of pride
i was silent enough and I understood
that this is equivalent to suicide.

Do you hate yourself so much
to keep the pain
you have to get it out of yourself.
Why are you keeping silent?

You mean to tell someone that you were wrong?
Wonderful!
It’s been 3 years and so what?
it would be wiser and more mature than any sentence
in the Zen Book of Wisdom.

Because to admit you were wrong
it makes you stronger than God
then you become God
because this is love
to yourself.

Taking care of your own emotional world.
Grab your phone and call someone and say
‘Sorry’
‘I love you’
‘I miss your voice’
or ‘Thank you for the good time together’.

You are ashamed?
No, this is no shame.
This is a victory over your ego
sometimes you just have to swallow your damn pride
and be brave.

When you say ‘Yes, I made a mistake’
you become a stronger than rock in the sea
then you will not have to pray to the universe or to God.
You will become in real God …
Made of love.

СЪРЦЕТО ТИ ИСКА ДА ГОВОРИ, НЕДЕЙ ДА МЪЛЧИШ
/Bulgarian translation/

Не разбирам хората, които мълчат,
когато всъщност искат да изкрещят.
Когато искат да запалят колата
и да отидат при някого
защото им липсва,
защото там са се чувствали щастливи.

Не разбирам хората, които мълчат,
когато искат да кажат „Съжалявам”.
Наистина не разбирам това горделиво мълчание
достатъчно съм мълчала и разбрах,
че това е равносилно на убийство.

Толкова много ли мразиш себе си,
че да държиш в себе си болка,
която трябва да разкараш
Защо мълчиш?

Искаш да кажеш на някой, че си сгрешил?
Чудесно!
Минали са три години и какво от това
би било по-мъдро и зряло от всяко изречение
в дзен книга за мъдрости.

Защото да признаеш, че си сгрешил
те прави по-силен от Бог
тогава ти самият ставаш Бог
защото това е любов
към себе си.

Грижа за собственият ти емоционален свят.
Хвани телефона и се обади на някой и кажи
‘Извинявай’,
‘Обичам те’,
‘Липсва ми гласът ти’
Или пък ‘Благодаря ти за хубавото време, докато бяхме заедно’

Срамуваш се?
Не, това не е срам.
Това е победа над егото ти
понякога просто трябва да преглътнеш проклетата гордост
и да бъдеш смел.

Когато кажеш ‘Да, аз сгреших’
ставаш по-силен и от скала в морето
тогава няма да се налага да отправяш молитви
към Вселената или към Бог.
Ти самият ще се превърнеш в Бог
Направен от обич.

GENERAL INFORMATION
Name and Surname
ROLANDA STEFANOVA
Date and the year of birth
06.09.1992
Nationality (Write the name of the country whose passport you have in UPPERCASES)
BULGARIA
Name of the city where you live (Write in uppercases. If you live in the village, write the name of the city that place belongs to, then the name of the village in brackets)
VARNA
BIOGRAPHY
When did you start writing poetry?
I started writing poetry two years ago (2017).
Which elementary school were you attending? Were you a good student?
From 1st to 12th grade I studied at “Hristo Botev School” – Kubrat. In high school, I had a Business Economics profile. Yes, I have always been a classmate and a class organizer. I performed best in the disciplines: literature, philosophy and market economics.
Which high school have you finished (or which high school are you attending)?
I graduated from “Hristo Botev High School” in Kubrat , Bulgaria. My education was with a “Business Economics” profile.
Do you have a college degree? Enter your academic title, if any. If you go to college, write down what year you are on. If you are not going while planning to enroll, enter which colleges you are interested in! *
I have a Bachelor’s degree in “Marketing and Management”. I completed this higher education at the University of Economics – Varna (Bulgaria).
After that I studied another qualification degree – “Social Business Entrepreneurship” with English language training. I finished this at the “Dimitar A. Tsenov Academy of Economics” – Svishtov (Bulgaria).
Are you employed? If you are: what is your job and where are you working?
Marketing specialist in a marketing company.
BIOBIBLIOGRAPHY
Books you’ve published:
I still dont’ have my own book, but two months ago my poetry was published in the book “At the foot of Vitosha”.
Your poetry awards:
I participated in the poetry competition “At the Foot of Vitosha” – 2019. The prize I received was that my poetry was published in a book, along with poetry and other authors.
What does poetry mean to you?
I strongly believe that poets are the surgeons of the human soul. Poetry is not just ordered words that are written in rhyme. No, no. This is not poetry. Poetry is a treatment for people with emotional problems. Sometimes poetry can understand your pain, sometimes it can show you where you are wrong or why you need to keep your heart more. Sometimes when you feel unhappy reading poetry you will be sure that somewhere someone understands you and has gone through the same. Poetry is Love. Feeling. Depth. Poetry is the best doctor for the human soul. Because it is magic to find so much beauty in words.
Make a list of your five favourite writers:
1. Ernest Hemingway
2. Romain Gary
3. Wayne Dyer
4. Mevlana Celaleddin Rumi
5. Kahlil Gibran
ABOUT MILI DUELI
How did you hear about our contest, and decided to apply?
In April this year, I saw that a Facebook page for culture shared a post about the competition. I opened the link and after reading the requirements I immediately decided to participate. I have always been curious about different cultures and wanted to see how in different countries around the world people write about love, about pain, about family, about the meaning of life. I wanted to get to know different different type of writing. The second reason I decided to participate was because I wanted to challenge myself – to understand how other people outside Bulgaria perceived my thinking and my emotionality. I wanted to feel my writing boundaries and how flexible I could be as a writer.
What are your experiences with the contest so far? What do you like the most, and what would you change?

I am thrilled with the whole competition and the whole organization.

1. I like that we work with mentors who help us be better guided for everything.
2. I also like that there are rules because that makes the person even more responsible.
3. I like it very much that I see a lot of positive comments and support always – there is no malice and envy. It is as if we are all one entity that has a common cause.
4. I like that as we communicate and write and learn (at any rate I) new words in Croatian, I find it useful.
5. I also like that after each round there are comments and criticism from the jury so that one we can see where there are mistakes and omissions or see our pluses.

Fotografija Роланда Стефанов.

Who’s your mentor? What’s your opinion about her/him?

My mentor is Nermin Delic.

In life, i interact with really many people. But rarely met such a dedicated person as Nermin. I know he studies medicine and this is very responsible. It also takes up a huge amount of time in learning and practicing. However, he is the organizer of this competition and I don’t even know how he manages to handle it with all. I realize that we are many different authors and he must pay attention and time to each of us. While he working with all the poems and things he is responsible for as an organizer, Nermin is:
– always kind and polite
– everything always happens on time and there are no delays
– always ready to answer any questions
– responds quickly when assistance with the choice of poems is needed.
– he is always honest and correct about the poem and whether is the poem is good.

I don’t know if he has free time, but in the time he is busy – I see a really dedicated person to his mission.
When I started the competition, I saw that he was also the author of books, and then I read some of his poems, which I found as publications. He really writes emotionally and deeply. With a point. I believe and I am sure that people like Nermin are fulfilling their dreams and conquering great peaks precisely because they have paid the price before. And that price is expressed in – complete dedication to what you do, strong faith, active action. He does all this and I wish him success in all projects – both in the present as well as in the future also.

Were you expecting to enter the semi-final stage as one of the TOP 50 among 545 people who applied?
YES
Are you expecting to enter the final stage?
YES
Do you expect winning this competition?
YES
ABOUT YOU
Tick the three groups that describe you the most:
good friends
motivating others
dedicated to what they do
Tick the three groups that describe you the least:
talking in front of the audience without problem
risk talking
sport spirit
Are you a hunter or a gatherer?
When it comes to my goals and dreams there is a part of the hunter in me. It is the energy with which I am motivated. I keep trying to catch my own spirit, my own wisdom, to capture myself and do my best. But in all my life first I’m a collector in – i like to collect moments, memories, lessons in myself. I often inspire others with them. I reassure them. I gather the sights in my mind. When someone cries or is happy I collect it. As an emotion. I think about him. I’m trying to get into his shoes and figure out what he’s feeling. If only I could help him by understanding it. I like to collect universes in myself.
What is your definition of love?
The most beautiful love is the one that is ‘although’, not ‘because’. To stay out of ‘desire’ and not of ‘need’.
It is love to feel that the person you love is enough. Holding the same hands every day, falling asleep staring at the same eyes every night. And don’t get bored. And to be grateful.
It is love when you are angry and sad and know that the only thing that can calm you down is the voice of the person you love.
It is love when you are in conflict, but you cover him with a blanket at night so it doesn’t get sick.
Love is care.
Love is when you get the good news and you want to ring it first, because you know that when you are happy, so he is happy too.
Love is when it is hard and someone grabs your arm to split the pain in half.
Love is when you feel that the silence with your lover one is pleasant and not boring.
And most of all … the safest thing you love is to stay. Despite the storms, though, it’s sometimes difficult and you have to be more patient.
Love is when you stay. Because ONLY true and beautiful love is the one that doesn’t leave after some problem. She STAYS … because she wants to get older with you.
If you were a plant- which plant would you be and why?
If I could be born as a plant I would certainly be an apple tree. Apples are one of the most useful foods (not just fruits) in the world. They have an enormous amount of vitamins and fiber and play a role in the exchange of many processes in our body. They work great for detoxification of the body, very useful for children and adults. It is even believed that daily consumption of apples goes back years and can rejuvenate the functions of all organs in the body. I will help to so many people to live healthy.
And also as a tree – I will always purify the air for people to live better.
Somebody gave you an anteater. What are you doing with the gift?
In this moment have a dog and can’t raise another pet. If someone presents me with an anteater, the first thing I will do is ask all my friends and relatives if they want to raise and care for him. If no one wants, I will ask the vet where is the most appropriate place where I can leave it in nature – a park, forest or other such place and give him this freedom.
I don’t like zoos and I don’t think animals need to live in cages. Therefore, I will not leave him at the zoo, but in nature or in a person who really wants to care for him.
Describe the colour yellow to a blind person.
I would tell him the following:
Imagine it’s raining and it’s very cold. You dare not go outside because you will get sick. You’re standing inside and not feeling well. But suddenly the rain stops and you decide to go out to breathe the fresh air. You feel some peace of mind. You can feel the warmth caressing your skin. This heat passes through your face and makes you smile. No reason. You feel different energy. It’s warm. You begin to feel the heat even more. It looks like something really good is about to happen. These is actually sunlight. She is yellow. Are you still smiling?
Fotografija Роланда Стефанов.
Tell us something we don’t know about you.
Lately i’ve noticed how much garbage there is on the streets and in the parks. Especially plastic – bottles, boxes and other packaging that pollute the air, prevent the plants from growing freely and sometimes the animals intertwine. One day I just decided that from that day forward – I would throw away 21 garbage EVERY DAY. That number popped into my head by accident. When I’m in a park or just junk on the road I throw it in the trash. It doesn’t take much time and effort, but there is a result and I fall asleep more calm in the evening. Very often I collect several bags at a time and they are much more than 21, but it doesn’t matter. Sometimes people look at me weird and maybe they laugh at me picking up stranger’s garbage from the ground, but i don’t care about this. I don’t do it for myself, or for others firstly. Make it the first place for the UNIVERSE we all live in. it is our home and I think we owe it to her.
Make a list of ten things you can do with a pen (except for writing)
1. I would throw the pen in the air while with my dog for a walk to catch him – a toy for the dog.
2. I can make a hole in the soil with the pen and it will be easier to put in a plant.
3. As a bookmark when i reading a book.
3. I can hold my hair back with pen
4. If I miss something between two cabinets, wardrobes or other tight spaces with pen i can back them.
5. I can tie a yarn for a pen and it will become a cat toy.
6. I can push the buttons with pen.
7. If i can show something to someone (like the teachers in classroom).
8. If I have a problem closing the goalkeeper or the window, I can put the pen in there to stop it from closing.
9. I can use ink to paint an interesting picture.
10. I think the psychologists who need to make hypnosis can use pen for this goals.

 

More about Semi-final organization:

 

Mili Dueli 2019: Organization of The Semi-Final (English version)

 


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Mili DUELI (by Nermin Delić)
Online Balkan Poetry Contest
Town Jajce
71 202
Bosnia and Herzegovina
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